my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

so yesterday was the first time i had to network. it was solely for a class assignment and it doesnt seemed practical when there are 80+ students and probably less than that of professional people and that each of us had had to get 8-10 namecards each.

initially i thought it was so stupid, but at the end of the day, i find it useful. in the future, i might need to network.anyway, i met one guy who works in Thomson Reuters who studied degree in mass communication in NTU. if i would like, i would spend the entire night talking to him.hehehe.
somehow, i think networking is fun and tiring, cause we need to constantly talk and come up with something to talk about.well, i think as an extrovert, i enjoyed it quite much.

ps/: hammie, it is not all about looks. in the long term, if the person is good looking but the personality sucks, then it's not worth it then. i think to me, is all about confidence. if you have confident, it can take you far :)

i'm liking the new timetable.no school on friday means longer weekend for me, if there is no work to do of course but that is very unlikely.

i don't know why but the fact that you are always smarter than me irked me. i don't know why, but i feel the need to prove to you that i am just as smart.is this the feminism side of me?that i can be as smart as you? maybe. i feel so challenged and i have never feel so challenged with anybody else. you make me want to be smart, do you know that?it is funny how i began to realize after the heated argument we had.it made me wished that i had dumb boyfriend instead.hahah. but i am thankful.you always blow my mind.always.i admit defeat. you are indeed smarter than me. you don't make me feel stupid.i make myself feel stupid.thank you for the very beneficial argument we had.hahah.

school starts tomorrow. Year 3, here we come. better armed ourselves for we will be battling throughout the entire year. (gosh, i sound like hidayat)

time to borrow some books!!!!and dvds!



ps/: 3 more weeks to K's ORD!

the week has been quite tiring, hot, lonely and most importantly the most-experienced week i ever had. not only i had to deal with plumber, carpenters, electrician,painter,cleaner,doorman, varnish guy and client, i had to be in-charge. i spent almost 4 days and a half over-seeing the whole process of handover(where the renovation job is done and the house is ready for the owner to live in).i was glad to be away from the office and avoid any awkwardness with my supervisor.i even exchanged contacts with a carpenter and he said he'll give me a discount when i do my own house.hahah.

okay, so 5 more days and we're done. see you girls next week~

J's Lomo Film-





love it. cant wait to see the night shots taken by the lomo camera.

Girlfriends- Botanic Garden 27/03








more pictures coming up. this one taken by our aspiring photographer, Lin.
love every pictures that turned out :) thank you girls for the bestest time i had.

met these girls for the past two fridays. it was awesome and we celebrated queen's birthday. hope you like it my Baby Jen. hahaha. i love you girls :)

today was good.

spent almost the whole day outside, on site(s), had lunch with my sister @ orchard(yes get almost 2 hours break while my bosses meet the client at town),had a surprise call from zul(really glad that he still remembers me) and laugh my socks off watching just for laugh.

tomorrow's wednesday! mid of the week already! :)

i am jealous at the fact that my cousin right now is enjoying his life, travelling around europe with his friends..alah apa mau jealous, one day it will be my turn..InsyaAllah.

okay stop all the complaining, whining, this is reality. working world kinda sucks(esp if you're not passionate about it). thank God, i am a woman, so anytime i feel like not working, i can do it, if only i have a husband who can support me.heheh.

anyway, cant wait for this week to end, cause after this week,we will only have three weeks left. looking forward for itp to end, not looking forward for school to start.horror.

we were looking at my watch intently as each second passed. we were in silent. when the clock strike 12, you were smiling, a smile that is precious.
to my dearest best friend and lover, happy 22nd. may i be with you, with every birthdays to come.
InsyaAllah.

counting down to the time when we are..........

fastforward the time, 5 or 6 years in time.

work has been okay but the thing is, i was starting to feel lonely. i mean, i do talk with the staff there but it still makes me feel lonely. the long hours of travelling, to and fro (total close to 3 hours a day) and eating alone outside attributed to that. if you know me,i'm a people person and i like to be surrounded with people who i can talk and relate to.

maybe this experience teaches me the feeling of being solitude.one day mas, you gonna be alone. when you die, you'll be alone.i am slowly accepting this feeling and experience that i am going through. i know it is important for me to learn how to just be alone.one day, the person you depend on will leave you and you'll be alone. i thank God for this. because the next time i experience it, it wouldnt be as hard.

anyway, reminder for me, you are not alone. Allah is always watching out for you..

has changed my email add to masturahsaad@hotmail.com

hahaha, got this from queen's tumblr.

Internship-

alright, it's already the first week of internship. i must say, working life is very very tiring than school, even though, all i did was to sit in the office. i must say, i am pretty glad so far with the company. there are 7 people in total, and it's hard for them not exclude me out. even though it's a small company, they are quite known and a lot of people wanted them to do their house but they got too many projects.

anyway, recap: all of us had lunch together on monday, my boss's husband have been sending me to bishan mrt for my convenience, i've been to site visit, drew proposal drawing for a client for the entire week and has been snacking unshamelessly on their food.hahaha, they dont mind really. if not for me, nobody will eat the junk.


i came at 9.30, they werent even there!

they have lots of books and magazines and the "pantry" is right beside, which is just behind me. how to resist!!

site visit @ lorong changi. damn the house has a rooftop!

the very cozy office. too small, they are planning to find somewhere bigger.

my desk!

okay, that's all. hopefully everything will go smoothly..


ps/: is watching dear john later!! read the book, hopes the movie is just as good.

i feel like i am the luckiest person around.what more could i ask?
alhamdullilah.alhamdullilah.alhamdullilah.

and i keep thinking of salleh and nabilla...
prayers for them.(read two posts back)

work has been alright. alhamdullilah, all praises to God. insyaAllah, things will continue as it is.. on the bright side, K's base is near my place :)))

this is for queen. queen, as i've observed for two days, the life of an interior designer is not only sitting on the desk doing quotations and drafting. my supervisor, she's an interior designer. she is not on her desk all day, in fact she's always out doing site visit, meeting clients, probably meeting with people that handle materials. i think in a day, she only sit at the desk for less than 5 hours. in the case, if you have a lot of projects. however, you can never run away from cad but for 3d, you can cause you can ask someone else to do it :) hope this info helps you.

a person who i consider as a friend has return to God yesterday. the passing of Salleh shocked me. he was K's friend's boyfriend and we all got to know each other during hari raya last year. even though, i barely knew him, we almost spent one whole memorable day together. i even thought all of us could meet again for hari raya this year. i was also trying to put myself in his girlfriend shoes. they have been together for so long since sec school and how can she ever pick herself up? what if it happens to me? bike accidents are fatal and i can only pray it will never happen to K. here i am,angry at the fact that you are too busy when i should be thankful. because i still get to be with you..

death breezed through me like a cold reminder. death is constant.death is imminent. death is inevitable.death can happen to young people.

al-fatihah

I'm afraid it might not be worth it.lies,lies.

yesterday i had book binding and knitting workshop. just to prove myself that i can do arts and craft. i always like diy stuff but i think i'm just not made to do craft and this is proven in DID, when i had to do model-making which i pretty suck at. crafting requires patience, accuracy and eye for details. however, being an impatience person,(sorry hamie, i might have annoyed you with my impatience yesterday)it's hard for me and i messed up. anyway, knitting was quite hard.seriously what the hell i was thinking doing knitting.

anyway, i had fun!wishes to go to more crafting-related workshop!

http://itsgreensilk.blogspot.com/2010/02/shaykh-hamza-yusuf-on-prophet-peace-be.html

came across this while i'm at Sis Muna's blog. thank you kak muna.
it's the month of all months.it's the month of the birth of our beloved prophet, Nabi Muhammad SAW.how i wished i had that same love and respect like how shaykh hamza yusuf had for our prophet.read, it's worth it.

especially loved these paragraphs:

But the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was more than just a great historical person, he was a father and friend, a husband, a companion and above all he was a human being. The Prophet’s unique physical appearance, his high character and willingness to sacrifice for others, are often at the essence of any description of him. He was once described by a contemporary in the following words:

"The Messenger of God was imposing and majestic. His face was luminous like a full moon. He was taller than medium but not excessive in height. He had wavy hair, which he parted and it never went beyond his shoulders. He was light-skinned with a high brow. He had full eyebrows and a small space between them. He had a fine, aquiline nose. His beard was full, his eyes black. His physique was supple and lithe, with a full chest and broad shoulders. When he walked, he was determined and his pace was as if he was walking down hill.

When he spoke he was always brief and reflective. He spoke when he saw benefit and spent long periods in silent contemplation. His speech was comprehensive being neither wordy nor laconic. He had a mild temperament and was never harsh nor cruel, coarse nor rude. He expressed gratitude for everything given to him no matter how insignificant. When he spoke, his companions lowered their heads as if birds were perched upon them. When he was silent, they felt free to speak. He never criticized food or praised it excessively. He never swore, nor did he find fault in people. He did not flatter people but praised them when appropriate.

People entered his gatherings as seekers and left enlightened. He would ask about his companions when they were absent often making inquiries about people’s needs. He never stood nor sat without mentioning the name of God. He never reserved a special place for himself in a gathering and sat where space provided. He gave each of those who sat with him such full attention that everyone felt that he was the most important person in that gathering. Voices were never raised in his presence. The aged were respected for their age and the young were shown compassion for their youth."

The Qur'an reminds Muslims that when they are slandered by those who reject them they should bear it patiently and be forgiving. I yearn for a deeper understanding of this man, his gentleness towards children, his love of animals, his concern for the weak and oppressed, his sense of justice tempered always with mercy.

right now, my life is practically free. eventhough is only for a week but i do take pleasure in doing nothing at all. feeling too free is something i have to adjust to.i've been spending my time on the laptop watching movies after movies, tv shows after tv shows. i don't usually like to spend my time facing the screen but i guess it's only for a few days more.

i am praying that starting next week, everything will go smoothly.i am concerned about attachment but i hope everything goes well.insyaAllah.

i am aware of the sins that i committed but being aware, is it just enough?

tuesday was too good to be true.

while we were gazing at the stars, you pointed out to three stars that were in a row and said it's an orion's belt. it was so nice catching it with you.

weekend was terrific.

saturday- percy jackson with sister and brothers, shin tokyo with all the siblings, crazy time at watson

sunday to monday afternoon- aunt's condo @ jb. had a great time swimming with the cousins! taking jumpshots into the pool, bbq and watching a ghost movie at midnight :)

and today, some TLC for me.

So give to each situation according to its size, weight, measure, and importance. And stay away from immoderation or from exceeding the proper bounds. - excerpt from a book Do Be Sad by
Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

Dear Masturah,

"You light up a room with you smile. Dare to dream!"

All the best,
Stella Wee

yes hamie, i am going to miss her too. such a great lecturer and am so honored to meet and be taught by the writer of my fav all time local show, Phua Chu Kang.

if i ever be a teacher, this is what i want to do. touch the hearts of my students. eventhough teaching is my last resort.

yesterday was good.

finally,i can say my place in the company is pretty secured even though is so far away, i am thankful.

and hanging out with your friends was great!makes me miss my own friends and hoped 5 years down the road, we have random meet ups and the guys will be all grown up and matured.

lastly, school will officially end this friday! two weeks of holiday and back to work, for real.

:)

okay i save you guys from any mushy words. just a picture.


ps/: when will i start jogging?

dreams dreams dreams dreams
something i've been thinking of lately. something that made me smile and pray.

there are so many places that i want to go but the only thing that is stopping me now is money..

and money reminds me of the song "money money money you're so funny in a rich man's world"
in the movie mamma mia..it reminds me of that time my cousins and i were watching mamma mia 2 in the morning and to prevent from sleeping i was singing to the songs that i never heard before,out of tune. good times, good times.



ps/: K, 3 more months to ORD!!!!!

my weekend was a bliss, it will be in the few weeks to come because i am so over and done with the final project for year 2.time flies, and in few more months i will be in year 3, something i am anticipating for. i wanna get out as soon as i can but then again, i just might miss schooling.

anyway, i just had an interview. it wasnt as formal i would like it to be. the most embarassing part was when i try to get up from the chair, i almost lose my balance.hahah, how great.somehow i wished i wouldnt get that company, location wise but i need it.

my critique will be tomorrow. the first one, twice already.i had my speech ready and at the speed that i'm going, i can last for less than 10 minutes. i wonder how people can just go on and on and on about their work. come one, cut the chase. i wished everything will be alright tomorrow. a few criticisms wont hurt but oh well, we see how it goes tomorrow.

by the way, i will miss csw because of stella. she even knows i'll fit very well in CASS. oh well, i'm here now right?


here i leave you with an excerpt from this book, Dont be Sad written by

Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni

Leave the future alone until it comes

The Event [the Hour or the punishment of disbelievers and polytheists or the Islamic laws or commandments], ordained by Allah will come to pass, so seek not to hasten it. (Qur'an 16: 1)

Be not hasty and rushed for things that have yet to come to pass. Do you think it is wise to pick fruits before they become ripe? Tomorrow is non-existent, having no reality today, so why should you busy yourself with it? Why should you have apprehensions about future disasters? Why should you be engrossed by their thoughts, especially since you do not know whether you will even see tomorrow?

The important thing to know is that tomorrow is from the world of the unseen, a bridge that we do not cross until it comes. Who knows, perhaps we might never reach the bridge, or the bridge might collapse before we reach it, or we may actually reach it and cross safely.

For us to be engrossed in expectations about the future is looked down upon in our religion since it leads to our having a long-term attachment to this world, an attachment that the good believer shuns. Many people of this world are unduly fearful of future poverty, hunger, disease, and disaster: such thinking is inspired by the Devil.

Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to commit Fahsha [evil deeds, illegal sexual intercourse, sins etc.], whereas Allah promises you Forgiveness from Himself and Bounty... (Qur'an 2: 268)

Many are those who cry because they see themselves starving tomorrow, falling sick after a month, or because they fear that the world will come to an end after a year. Someone who has no clue as to when he wil die (which is all of us) should not busy himself with such thoughts.

Since you ire absorbed in the toils of today, leave tomorrow until it comes. Beware of becoming unduly attached to future prospects in this world.

project 99% done. Alhamdullilah, everything's over now.

monday, interview
tuesday, critique.

alright then

3 more days, then is over.

and as usual,i'm not working as hard as i can.

Saturday Afternoon- Malay Script Writing Competition@ National Library.

this was pretty last minute but i went there with K to support his friends. writing for a stage drama and writing for a tv script is entirely different. it was hard trying to understand a script written for stage drama because what the writers want to convey is not straight forward. very interesting time though.and the view from national library was spectacular.


feeling comfortable there my friend?

hahahah


there will never be a picture perfect.hahah spoiler.


alright then, 5 more days to submission!woohoo!

what would you do without me huh...

if you cant see my worth, then someone else will.

The 10 Most Common Reasons for Relationship Breakups

Human Sexuality (2nd Edition) by Roger Hock is the source of these relationship problems – this book contains everything you need to know about intimate relationships!

1. Breaking promises, lying, cheating in relationships. These obvious violations of trust almost always result in relationship problems. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, the problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can learn to reconcile their differences – and even survive an affair – without anger or bitterness.

2. Imbalance of power in relationships. Problems for couples arise when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person makes all the decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, and vacations, the relationship can become unstable. Both partners should equally share the decision-making power.

3. Acceptance of stereotypes in relationships. This used to be a more common relationship problem for couples, but it still exists today! Mistaken gender myths include beliefs such as “Men should earn more money than women” or “Women should stay at home and raise the kids.” If couples believe these stereotypes, they create false expectations that are more likely to be a cause of a break up.

4. Isolation from friends and family. This type of relationship problem is based on fear and insecurity; new couples may isolate themselves from other people because they’re “in love and want to be together.” A brief period of cocooning is normal for many couples, but it’s far healthier to interact with other people regularly.

5. Lack of self-knowledge for couples. If one or both partners aren’t in tune with their interests, needs, desires, future plans, goals, values, and preferences, then it’s difficult for them to build a healthy relationship. Self-knowledge helps partners communicate who they are and what they want – which can prevent all types of relationship problems.

6. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence. Couples can break up because one partner feels unworthy of being loved. This insecurity can lead to possessiveness and dependence, which isn’t healthy for couples in love relationships.

7. Excessive jealousy in relationships. “Jealousy is cited as one of the most frequent causes of the breakup of romantic relationships,” writes Roger Hock. Delusional jealousy can trigger abuse and violence, which can (and should) cause a relationship breakup! Delusional jealousy isn’t a common type of relationship problem, but normal jealousy can be.

8. Ineffective communication in relationships. Both partners need to be able to share their thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, needs, frustrations, and joys. Sometimes couples avoid speaking honestly and hide their true selves, which may not always lead to a break up…but it doesn’t strengthen their bond!

9. Control issues in relationships. If one partner is trying to control or manipulate the other, the relationship can become weak or destructive. Controlling behaviors include checking up on the partner, name-calling, threatening the partner, requiring the partner to check in all the time, or not allowing any deviations from the schedule. This may not lead to relationship break up for all couples, but it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

10. Violent behavior in relationships. This is an obvious relationship problem that should lead to an immediate break up! Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are attempts to gain total control over a partner. Though relationships like this should end immediately, couples stay
couples stay together stay for various reasons.

i could look really fine on the outside but the truth is, i've been holding it all up.

i'm feeling rather disheartened.

my back is killing me!!!

Should you not gain your wants, my soul, then be not grieved;
But hasten to that banquet which your Lord's bequeathed.

And when a thing for which you ask is slow to come,
Then know that often through delay are gifts received.

Find solace in privation and respect its due,
For only by contentment is the heart relieved.

And know that when the trials of life have rendered you
Despairing of all hope, and of all joy bereaved,

Then shake yourself and rouse yourself from heedlessness,
And make pure hope a meadow that you never leave.

Your Maker's gifts take subtle and uncounted forms.
How fine the fabric of the world His hands have weaved.

The journey done, they came to the water of life,
And all the caravan drank deep, their thirst relieved.

Far be it from the host to leave them thirsty there,
His spring pours forth all generosity received.

My Lord, my trust in all Your purposes is strong,
That trust is now my shield; I'm safe, and undeceived.

All those who hope for grace from You will feel Your rain;
Too generous are You to leave my branch unleaved.

May blessings rest upon the loved one, Muhammad,
Who's been my means to high degrees since I believed.

He is my fortress and my handhold, so my soul,
Hold fast, and travel to a joy still unconceived.

~~~

[Originally written in Arabic by Al-Habib 'Ali bin Husayn al-Habshi. Translated by Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad]

MeditationMix by our brother Haroon Sellars : "Oh My Soul"

- taken from Sis Muna's FB. thank you, hope you dont mind,

i seriously cannot wait for the 29th. 9 more days and that's it for Year 2.
i've got so many places in mind to go.
so kat, hamie, rf, queen, let's have milkshake!if you know what i mean..

weekend was a bliss. i wished monday wouldnt come.

saturday was with K, had a really fulfilling dinner at pizza hut since i was cravings for their chicken wings.

sunday was with the sec friends, shisha @ mosi. it was good seeing the guys again, always with their new jokes and stupid games. snap twist!haha.

alright back to reality.2 more weeks to submission and is all over!i just cant wait to be over and done with 3dviz.

has been staring at the computer screen since 1130am and time check,904pm.
i am mentally tired.hate hate hate submissions,my life for another year would be like this. just another year!!sick or no sick, project still goes on.so looking forward for 29th. this time, i'm not gonna be a goody two shoes and hand in everything.i see if it works for me, if not then goodbye.

29TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






ps/: i want to be free from everything.

the last two years, i really know what i wanted to do,i was really sure, until i got myself into this. i forgot about it, put on hold, and maybe thought i wasnt going to make it. after what happened, i was not sure if i could get what i dreamed of.my confidence level after secondary school life was from 10 to 1.

but today, my lecturer told me to go for it.somehow,in her eyes, she believed that i can do it and i have stopped believing in myself for quite a while.

today, i am and very sure what i want in life. in 2020, i really want to see myself doing it. i must stop being afraid and must stop losing my self believe. i've been afraid and coward for so long and i want it to stop. if you dream small, you get small. if you dream big, you get big. there is no way to head towards success if i dream small, if i just be content and okay-ed with the way things are. God will help us,if we help ourselves, i believed that.

but this journey is not wasted, i will make use of it in the future.

btw, here's a quote from the movie coach carter which i watched during the weekend:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

"adulthood is about making decisions and living in the consequences"
maybe that is what i'm doing right now.

Thurday Afternoon- Mam's 48th Bday@ Carousel, Royal Scotts Hotel





i took two plates at once.hah.


dad act cute.

mam and dad.

chocolate fondue. the chocolate is so rich, i love it.

haha!





it was such a good memorable day, spending the time with the family. i love you guys!

wow, i want this. this is at dubai btw. bid starts from 20 million, dont know what currency though. so awak, ada 20 million tak?

If you make intense supplication
and the timing of the answer is delayed,
do not despair of it.
His reply to you is guaranteed;
but in the way He chooses,
not the way you choose,
and at the moment He desires,
not the moment you desire.
The Hikam by Ibn Ata'illah

i should be reminded of this everyday.must never get tired of praying..

we've got 4 weeks to finish a truckload of things and it's gonna be over. Goodbye Year 2, hello attachments, then hello Year 3.


missing those days when life was carefree, laughing and enjoying my time with my girlfriends. but reality check, i'm here now.

school is tomorrow, be strong my friends. last term for the year, sure is not gonna be easy.

2010, live life simply.

dont be judgemental.
less bitchin



ps/: i miss those halaqahs.i've said this a lot of times.

how i spent the new year 01/01/10

930pm.yewtee.K.runny nose.sick.fireworks cancelled.tiongbahru.mcd.cabbed.mount faber country club.his friends.bowling.1252am.on the road.ecp highway.my sister.her boyfriend.2010.missed the fireworks.changi beach.roti john.sit&chill.4.30am.home.

2009-

i dont know where to start but i guess here it is. 2009, has been the same old, just like 2008. maybe because firstly, i am still stuck doing things that i have little passion of. i've accepted the fact, i worked hard, but not hard enough, i tried to stay on the track, tried to get my work done, tried to get enough scores and this has been 2009 for me basically. i have been dealing this for the past and a half year. my time in ID to me, is not a waste. it is hard but it is something different, something that i never thought i would do. eventhough i have a little passion of, i do not want to regret and i believe it will benefit me in the end. i believe everything happens for a reason, and with this, i held on to strongly. to my 4 girlfriends, RF,Kat, Hammie and Queen, thanks for being there for me, thanks for making school easier for me. you guys taught me the true meaning of friendship. what kind of friend you are. this year, you girls taught me, generosity, kindness(i am not kind-hearted), sharing and thinking of others before you. thank you, i love you all.

school aside. it has been two years since i know you. there were good and bad things that happened this year to us, just like any normal relationship. you are the greatest person i have ever met. you are you, smart, wise, cheeky, serious, loyal, responsible, cool, relax, living your life for your own, the things that i didnt expect to love. you made me realised things about myself, things that i have been denying. you tell me that there is more to this relationship, to tell me to enjoy my life with my friends, which i really love that about you. you didnt make our relationship the center of your life(maybe close to the center, haha and afterall we are not husband&wife). this year, with you, the most important thing to me is to love someone for who they are, accept them flaws and all, be patient because patience will help the relationship. with that, i pray to God, wrong or right, just let our relationship be long lasting and guide us..

one last thing, for 2010, i hope to live life simply. i am happy as for now.i am content, blessed and lucky.note to self: do not let anything get to me, let go of the unwanted things/feelings/emotions that doesnt benefit me, try to work harder for school, make my parents happy, just treasure each time i have with my loved ones and work my way towards being a good Muslimah, nonetheless.

may God bless you all :)