The 10 Most Common Reasons for Relationship Breakups

Human Sexuality (2nd Edition) by Roger Hock is the source of these relationship problems – this book contains everything you need to know about intimate relationships!

1. Breaking promises, lying, cheating in relationships. These obvious violations of trust almost always result in relationship problems. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, the problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can learn to reconcile their differences – and even survive an affair – without anger or bitterness.

2. Imbalance of power in relationships. Problems for couples arise when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person makes all the decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, and vacations, the relationship can become unstable. Both partners should equally share the decision-making power.

3. Acceptance of stereotypes in relationships. This used to be a more common relationship problem for couples, but it still exists today! Mistaken gender myths include beliefs such as “Men should earn more money than women” or “Women should stay at home and raise the kids.” If couples believe these stereotypes, they create false expectations that are more likely to be a cause of a break up.

4. Isolation from friends and family. This type of relationship problem is based on fear and insecurity; new couples may isolate themselves from other people because they’re “in love and want to be together.” A brief period of cocooning is normal for many couples, but it’s far healthier to interact with other people regularly.

5. Lack of self-knowledge for couples. If one or both partners aren’t in tune with their interests, needs, desires, future plans, goals, values, and preferences, then it’s difficult for them to build a healthy relationship. Self-knowledge helps partners communicate who they are and what they want – which can prevent all types of relationship problems.

6. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence. Couples can break up because one partner feels unworthy of being loved. This insecurity can lead to possessiveness and dependence, which isn’t healthy for couples in love relationships.

7. Excessive jealousy in relationships. “Jealousy is cited as one of the most frequent causes of the breakup of romantic relationships,” writes Roger Hock. Delusional jealousy can trigger abuse and violence, which can (and should) cause a relationship breakup! Delusional jealousy isn’t a common type of relationship problem, but normal jealousy can be.

8. Ineffective communication in relationships. Both partners need to be able to share their thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, needs, frustrations, and joys. Sometimes couples avoid speaking honestly and hide their true selves, which may not always lead to a break up…but it doesn’t strengthen their bond!

9. Control issues in relationships. If one partner is trying to control or manipulate the other, the relationship can become weak or destructive. Controlling behaviors include checking up on the partner, name-calling, threatening the partner, requiring the partner to check in all the time, or not allowing any deviations from the schedule. This may not lead to relationship break up for all couples, but it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

10. Violent behavior in relationships. This is an obvious relationship problem that should lead to an immediate break up! Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are attempts to gain total control over a partner. Though relationships like this should end immediately, couples stay
couples stay together stay for various reasons.