okay,i'm totally distracted by my cousins!blog next time!

I HAVE TO ANNOUNCE THIS:I AM SINGLE.I DON'T LIKE WHEN PPL THINK THAT HE'S MY BOYFREN.I DON'T HAVE A BOYFREN AND NEITHER WILL I BE HAVING ONE.PLEASE DON'T DISTURB ME WITH HIM.I DON'T LIKE.EVEN MY SISTERS THINK THAT HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.THAT'S BULLSHIT.IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.HE'S TOTALLY NOT MY TYPE.

I'M HAPPY BEING SINGLE!

arab was atrocious.i dun even understand a single thing.bullshit,i'm gonna flunk.i received a bad news from fatin.she's not going to madrasah aljunied anymore.she's transferring to al-iman.i was crushed by the news.oh god,this is the second time we got separated :'( nvm,we can always go out and meet each other if only time allow us.i must take a pic with you!

i wanna go for movie marathon.i wanna sit in the cinema for the whole day with chacos deep with cheese and watch the movies for free.i seriously miss watching movies.i haven't watch anything this year except for harry potter and goblet of fire which i will be watching next month.
anyone can belanja me watch a movie?

clean up my stuff yesterday.i can't throw the books and files.i'll be using it for the next two years.

my ic picture,my contacts
i collect plastic bags.ahaha,wat a weird habit.i have a box of plastic bag but my mam threw it away :(
i'm a neat freak.you'll see something that shouldn't be there.ahaha
so many files!and i can't throw it away!

dun forget to watch full circle today at 10.i watched the advertisement and it's a boy who turned out to be a sissy.acted by a real sissy guy.


i missed my some of friends.remember,we used to be so close? but now you already forgotten about me because you found a new better friend than me.everytime i look at you all,i wonder,have you forgotten about me?have you forgotten the good and bad times that we shared?how come we're not close like last time?what did i do wrong?i just hope that someday they will realise that they had left a friend.right now,i'm just happy that they are happy with their new friends.good things have to come to an end.i'll always welcome them with an open hands.yes,i'm referring to everyone who had been close with me before.i'm truly hurt.

what kind of sports are you into?

i like running and soccer though i frequently do it but it will give me tremendous pleasure.running allows me to be alone and that's when i will think bout my problems that i'm facing and literally,running away from the hectic life.it calms me down and release my stress.soccer is just so fun!it need a lot of discipline.i love the feeling when i get the ball from the opponent and kick a goal.i would love to play soccer everyday but i got no one to play with me :(
you just need to focus on the ball and nothing else so it's a stress-getaway too for me.i would love to pick up kickboxing too!


bored lah.just wasting my time watching tv and lying on my bed.i took a photo for my ic and luckily it turned out well!and i bought a coloured contact lens already!yeah!i asked my mom to buy for me but she disagreed so i put on a sulky face and sulked all the way till my father gave me the money.he must be thinking:
"kesian anakku yg manis.tak sampai hati tgk dia begitu"
ahaha.i just need to put on a sulky face to get wat i want.ahaha,i USED to be daddy's girl you see.

what's the most romantic thing a guy can do to you?

SING TO ME.
i'll go,"awww"


ouh damn.busy,busy next month.with extra classes starting next monday(even on second day of hari raya.nabeh)and guides to attend i don't even think i have time to jalan raya with my friends.i thought the sec 3 na were working toward n levels for the extra classes but mrs tangs just told us that we're not.we're preparing for o levels.oh god.wat huge gap to cross over.

I GOT MY REPORT BOOK.
and i think i improved A BIT.i was so happy that everyone in my class passed till i started to dance.THANK GOD yusri and gordon passed and well,the rest of my class.i'm so delighted for everyone!!

BIOLOGY-E8(wah piang!i did so badly)
ENGLISH-5(still no improvement.i keep getting 55 or more.)
MALAY-1
MATHS-U(i'm expecting this)
COMBINED SCIENCE-5(i didn't study that well,so no surprise)
COMBINED HUMANS.-1

oh my god!today is just so dull!i rather spend the time sleeping at my comfy bed and pillows!but at least i killed the b0redom by playing stupid cards games using the postcards that was given.i had a great time laughing

actually the sec 3 na were supposed to go to ite simei and clementi but the teachers are dumb enough to not give us consent forms so we can't go.bloody bullhsit.so,we attended a talk bout the courses in poly.i was sleeping but awake when mr tan talked bout the media and design!of course that's my favourite but it's just too difficult to get that mass comm.

later after that,some ppl were called out from various classes.we thought we have to at the edge of getting retain but it's impossible cos miss smarty pant which is sheena was there so we're relief.but we're told by ms sim that the ppl here at least fail 2-4 subjects.so the teachers decided to give us enrichment classes and additional classes which i really think is a great idea as i totally need help for my maths.we're already starting to prepare our n levels next month and we had re-examination on the 20-30.

i'm so glad and thankful that they come out with these enrichments and classses.i'm so happy that the teachers are helpful and i really gonna cooperate with them to pass my maths.mrs tang's words keep ringing in my ear."fail maths,no poly,no course."
i seriously need MAJOR HELP from teachers or even friends so that i can IMPROVE ON MY MATHS AND STOP GETTING A F9.die lar.

what is the thing that people don't understand bout you?

the thing that most ppl don't understand me is that i THINK they see my friendliness and openness with guys are my ways of flirting and trying to get attention or even trying to be an extra with the guys.they are wrong obviously because i like being friends with the guys.i love hanging out with guys because i can spend the whole time laughing and trying to understand them.but ppl got it wrongly you see.i grow up hanging out with guys and girls too you see.
-when i'm in pri1-2,i play block catching with guys plus my sis
-when i'm in pri 3-4,i play soccer with guys and sort of tomboys
-when i'm 5-6,i have two close frens which is a guy
so,if you think i flirt,FUCK YOU.

there's so much thing that ppl might not understand me.

actually,i'm supposed to go out with my gangs but my father disallowed me because i upset him yesterday.nvm,at that time i was also feeling lazy.i wanna go out although he don't allow me as i was so mad at him nowadays but then i have to be a good girl so i can ask money from them to buy coloured contact lens.

MY MAM COOKED NASI TOMATO WITH AYAM MASAK MERAH AND UDANG!YUMMY!!

okay,on tuesday the whole sec 3 went to the dairy farm camp at bukit timah.the camp was ala resort except no beach and the rooms were 2 storey and parquet flooring.cool huh?the only not great thing was we're fasting and we have to go home.

my class name was teh syrup.our instructor idam was cool but rikko was irritating.my class did the high elements first and my group did the flying fox!!woohoo!!i was enthusiastic coz i've been dying to try it but when it's your turn,you dun feel like going because it was so high and scary when you just drop off from the building.my heart feel like coming out and i screamed the loudest.i wonder why other ppl didn't scream except sheena who screamed like a bird.ahahaha,everyone was laughing at her.the next was just standing on a piece of metal rod and hold on to a rope for support.when i was at the plank,i feel like not going but the guys motivated me because of their critics.i want to prove myself lah..and i managed it without difficulty!yeay!


then we had some team-building games before it started to rain.so when it rained,the sec 3 went to canteen and sort of have our campfire because we're cheering and singing campfire songs.i wanted to dance because one part,you have to move your shoulders but none of them are doing it,so i was a bit paisey.then we had dressing competition and each class have to send one representatives so my class chose me.then they dressed me as witch and i let my hair down and messed it up.they put toothpaste on my face okay!!then i have to strut.so,without shame,i laughed like a witch and made a fool infront of everyone.i noe i looked horrible.

then,home sweet home.

i was looking for a pic of the gerls and the dudes but i found nth!except that pic at my tag!
one day,we shall go out and camwhore okay guys.the ppl that are expected to be in my pic are:
-me!of coz must have!
-jana
-lala
-lin
-aisyah
-dan
-yusri
-tommy
-syahril
-zul
-haikal

ps:dan's friends are welcome.i like funny ppl.

okay,you noe wat?got this chinise guy offer to help me record my own singing to a cd!
AHAHAHA.
he told me through friendster that he was doing a service and offered me to sing but i have to meet him so i can sing to any songs and put it to a cd.i don't know how he got my friendster neither do i know that he knew i like to sing.of course,i won't bother to do all this because you might end up getting rape!scary!i got good voice you noe!bluergh!

school was damn boring.we picked a new skill!making flowers using a ribbon.actually it was for the salvation army.i tried doing the flowers but i'm totally sucks at it coz i'm not into this girly stuff.best sey!express get to go harbourfront!i was so jealous till i pray that the cable car that they took will get stucked in the middle or even better,terputus skali.well,we had fun making a mess and listening to the raya songs :)))


anyway,tmr is my camp.i can't wait for abseilling and flying fox!woohoo!gonna be fun!.this ramadan,banyak cabaran yer.a lot,of stuff happened,good and bad.the good,we cherish it in our memories,the bad we learnt from our mistakes.(actually,i'm trying to imply something here)


lets pray for the better

just now was my madrasah exam.i just hentam everything.if you dun understand the question,how to answer? so,while everyone of my family member was painting the rooms,i was happily sleeping.so lazy to help.bluergh!

actually,i got nothing to talk about.don't forget to bring your consent form for the camp guys.


stop exaggerating please.wat are you trying to tell me huh?

wassup with all that guys? why do you have to fight? i'm not siding anyone because i haven't listen from the both party so i really don't what exactly happened neither do it know who's fault it is.i wish you guys will be friends back.i think my frens and i feel guilty because we are the cause of it.tiba2 jer nama aku yg terkeluar.we feel that our friendship is like a burden to you all.kite ni mcm menambahkan masalah.don't you all care bout our(lin me jana aisyah) feelings? if you really do,try to clear things up okay and makes things better.it would be good to see you guys back.hari raya is coming and it is a month of forgiveness too.remember that.

that's all i have to say.just an advice and a concern from a worried friend.

cahaya aidilfitri~black dog bone

listen to it!okay,my family can't stop listening from hari raya songs espacially my two bros.since my father bought the cd on hari raya songs,they keep listening to it and my brothers will sing with the lyrics and my father will start dancing.

oh god.wat a family.we'll be painting our rooms.maybe not my room because my mam bought cool green paint and i dun like green.not suitable for a lady's room.whole day,i've been reading the old cleo magazine that my sister bought two years ago.i should study tauhid,akhlak and fiqeh because my exams are tmr.i don't give a shit.


i think i need to do my ic after my camp.but then my mam will be busy because she'll be doing a lot of kuih and i got no one to accompany me.anyone kind hearted enough to accompany me?
leceh sey.so troublesome.i've been practising how to smile.whether or not i should show my teeth.i don't want to look horrible because at the age of 30(i guess)then you're allow to change the picture.

anyway,i totally forgot to say this:

I HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION SO FAR.THANKS ONCE AGAIN.

I WANNA SAY A BIG ENORMOUS THANK YOU TO EVERYBODY FOR MAKING MY B'DAY A HAPPENNING ONE!!

*thanks to the people who wishes me happy birthday verbally,via sms,through
friendster or blog.
*thanks to yusri,dan,adli and syahril for sabatoging me(that was unexpected because it
was during fasting month)
*thanks to khairul afiq for the wonderful presents!!esp the card!
*thanks to syahril and fir for the cute presents!so cute lah!
*thanks to lin jana and aisyah for the cake!(i didn't expect a cake!!i thought we just play
with bunga api!)
*thanks to danial,zul haikal,khairil,ariff and some of dan's friend that i didn't
mention!thanks for eating the cake and celebrating it with me!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.I HEART YOU GUYS LOTS AND LOTS!THANKS FOR ALL THE SURPRISES!GOD BLESS YOU GUYS AND I HAD FUN!

i had a great time on the 20th of october.before going to school,my father,mother and two brothers kissed me.so sweet lah!then in school,a lot of b'day wishes and the fairies and 3/2 girls sang me b'day song.after school,while i was walking,yusri throw an egg onto my head!i screamed out as i was so petrified!and it stinks lah!my hair was smelly!so,i washed my hair in the toilet and suprisingly,dan went to the girl's loo and throw something on my back.i think it was rempah kari and water!eeewww!!!i was jumping up and down and screaming my lungs out because i was wet and my uniforms was so dirty!lucky lala brought her pe shirt.so when i was at tha gate,i saw syahril adli and dan was running towards me so i quickly ran off but they caught me.adli threw an egg,dan missed it and syahril threw me paint mixed with kunyit,kicap and god knows wat they put it inside that plastic bag.it was really smelly and stinky!!i smelled worst than the shit!so,i went to meet syahril and fir again and syahril poured the whole packet of flour on me and i was white.so looking horribly,i met khai and izaan.then rushed off to lala's house and ppl were staring at me!after a good bath,my hair still smell of the egg.ahahaha,oh god!i stink!!

so later at night,me lin jana aisyah went to terawih and after that i thought we will play bunga api only with the guys but it turned out to be a surprise because lin aisyah jana bought me a cake.it was yummylicious!then,we started to play with bunga api and i reached home almost 11!lucky my parents didn't scold me!i enjoyed yesterday as there was a lot of surprises!thanks guys!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UBAI!

first of all,i would like to wish

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY KHAIRUL AFIQ!!!!!!

thank you for everything that you do to me and love ya!

bunga api is fun.
cool huh?aisyah missing :(
sweet 15
my birthday cake from lin jana aisyah!thanks guys!
the card(before writing) from khai.sweet huh?*pic from jana
presents from khai!cute huh?

presents from syahril and fir

first of all i would like to wish:
HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO DENISE AND SHAMEER!!!!

this october,there's a lot of people b'day.so fun.
okay today was asolutely fun.during recess,i was alone again.i dunno why nowadays i want to be alone.it's just good to have time for yourself.i think i'm getting moody cause i'm getting old.
i wanna thank yan for his mp3!yeah!had some entertainment!all the normal acad students were loitering outside because there were no teachers at all so we made a lot of noise.i wasted my time in the loo after that with my gangs and we used aisyah's hp recorder to record our singing.it was so funny because we made the chan mali chan song to sexy and like sheep version and laughed at our irritating and sumbang voice.ahaha.the funny part was when i with jana jumping around and holding hands,i saw narain and everyone from all classes rushed to their classes and looking for their tables and chairs to sit down.from a chaos situation,the whole three classes was so quiet.ahahaha,maybe it's not funny to you but the reaction of everybody was so funny.it was even hilarious when yusri have to sweep the floor outside and we called him bangla and narain was his agent.ni lah,dan nyer idea.ahaha,full of bullcrap.after school,me lin jana hold hands all the way to lotty.we're so childish today!

mimi,nana,dada,rahrah and shasha.nonsense mimi!

kiamat is coming.the world is going to end.in islam we believed that one day,the world is going to end by having signs like:
-gays,lesbians
-sep 11
-tsunami
-hurricane katrina
-hurricane rita
-quakes at pakistan
-sars
-bird flu
-dengue
-iraq-usa war

and more other signs that we didn't realised.so to muslims out there,BERTAUBAT.tahu takut tapi tak nak taubat.aper jer lah

when the world that is going to end,it's going to be disastrous.i dunno what will happen but all i noe on that day,everybody is going to DIE.no matter how far you run or hide,you'll be dead.but before that happens,i wanna do these:
-go poly
-go uni overseas
-get married
-have children meaning have sexs(ahaha)
-have career
-have lots of money to shop
-have a car,house
-go travel
-play keyboard?
-go to kickboxing course
and a whole lot more.

alas,i got to hang out with tommy for awhile.i love you lah tommy :)

alas,we had our sexs talk.it was about sexually transmitted disease and other kinds of diseases.it was fine.very informative.

alas,we will be having our camp briefing tmr by the cute teacher mr tan.


every ramadan,my family always came out with the past.when i used to be in pri 2,i always reached home during ramadan shouting to my mam.it goes like this:
"nak buka!!!!!tak faham ker adik tgh lapar!!!!
and after one hour(yesh,it's true) of shouting to my mam,i fell asleep.
i can't even remember doing that but it tickles me to see how nonsense i am.



i don't want to have cca.i don't want to have guides tmr.so sucks.

okay.i got back my results.disappointing and disatisfying.that's the two words that described how i feel.i dunno whether i should blame myself.i was sick for the almost a week and i can't study and did a last minute revision before the day of the exam.but i should have studied few weeks ago.i didn't shed a tear because i deserved this as i didn't put any effort to my exams.for those who had put in a lot of effort and still failed,my pri school teacher always say that your effort might not pay back this time but for other time.i firmly believed in that.mr teo,my pri school teacher told my parents and me that i'm a bright student when i was in pri 5.i wanted to believe him at that time but i can't cause i'm the stupidiest in the class and always get the last 20 in class.but when i came to secondary school and i saw my abilities,i changed my mind and what he told me was right.i am a bright student if i want to.what mr teo said,had motivated me through my studies during secondary days.i'm holding on to his words for prolonged.i began to believe in myself and have faith but not when it comes maths.i've been failing maths since i'm in primary 3 and how i really wish that i can pass my maths with flying colours.i have no confidence whether i can even achieve well for it.now,i'm scared because if i fail my maths,i won't get to poly no matter how well i do for the rest of my subjects.it doesn't matter anymore.you how much it means to me for me to go poly?it means so much because i want to get the course that i want and that is my passion,my dream.wat if i didn't pass?just like my both sisters.one,have to retake and the other went to ite.i really wanna go poly so badly.i have a dream,a life,a passion to pursue.it will be heartbreaking for me if i fail my o level maths.not just o levels,my n levels too.why must i be such a dummy in maths?that's a mystery to me.

harry potter,here i come!!!!!!

if you feel that your world is coming down onto you,
or if you ever feel like nothing is worth for,
and feeling low,think again.
because you still have family and friends that love you.


i want the life that i used to have,
the time when i enjoyed myself,
moments that are truely genuine,
no pretending,no hyprocrisy,
just happiness that comes sincerely from heart.


loving you is my biggest mistake ever
but knowing you is my best treasure
i wanna say thank you for being there whenever i need you.



there's an evil thought within me
everytime i tried to throw it away
it came back haunting me
giving me doubts and speculations
but then i began to realise that
it had grown within myself and a part of me that i can never erase.



i'm catching my dreams that await me
just a hope so i can make things better.



just a wish for me
a wish that we will reunite
to times that we usually had fun together.




emo?u bet.quotes from what i or someone else's feeling.thanks for reading ya.

saturday:
went to geylang in the morning.i hate it lah!!!!i hate going to geylang!esp during fasting time.my intention going there was to buy baju raya but i got so tired that i almost fainted there.my vision was so blurred!arrgghhhh!!!i went to look for my baju at the whole entire geylang but i found nothing!!waste my time sey!i really cannot take it coz the weather was so unbearable!went
to the bazaar,around the pasar,joo chiat and tanjong complex but yet i found nothing.maybe i'm too fussy but nothing is nice there.i found this baju kebaya.i fell in love with it but the price is so expensive.it's just a simple baju kebaya for 135 bucks.haiz,i'm not going there again.i will just ask my mam to buy watever baju there.i dun care anymore.bloody hell,spoilt my mood to even break fast.i get agitated so easily.i showed my attitude to my parents and to those who yg tak bersalah.then,i saw this two uncle drinking!!apa lagi,i rolled my two big round eyes at them.they were looking at me with their two cups of drinks.like so proud not having to fast.fuck to all those people who didn't fast but want to celebrate hari raya!u're not worth celebrating!ahhhhhhh!!!

oh my god.it's been so long since i updated my blog!!i know my fans out there have been waiting
for me to write something.ahahaha!now,exams are over!!!!!!can update more daily.yeah,i've been very busy lately.

my first week of ramadan was the worst days for me as i was sick for almost a week.that's great isn't it?my exams are fine but i noe i didn't put in a lot of effort and i think i won't do quite well for my end of year.maths was the toughest subject that i have to encounter.for sure,i'm gonna flunk it.i think i won't get dinstinction for my social studies!!damn lah,the questions are not what i exepected.

okay,enough bout that.it's over mas.OVER.and now i can breathe easy.today,there's no school.it was bore for me.my sister borrowed sims 2 and going to borrow photoshop cd.i think i'm gonna spend my time doing new stuff.sims 2 is great and i'm gonna be addicted to it.at least i have something new to do.

dah lah,ciao and happy fasting guys!

first day of fasting,i fell sick.i reached school,i was freezing like hell.lucky there's yus jacket.it got
worst when my palm is totally white,my nails turned purple and my little fingers gradually became numb.i can even see my veins.i was shaking till i can't even write.so i decided to go home.i was in that dark sick bay room for so long coz my mom came late..went to poly and waited for my number to call for bout one and a half hour.i should have go to the private doctor.it's been two days i didn't get to fast and also it's been two days i got a headache.i need to get well soon because exams are coming and i haven't revise yet!

why being a man is better?
why they are more in control?
why mostly presiden are men?
why mostly lawyer are men?
why mostly men are in the political government?
why mostly chefs are men?
why mostly bosses are men?
why mostly men own a company?
why mostly prime minister is a man?
why mostly men are stronger than women,
physically,mentally and emotionally?

...................BUT..................

men carry are great responsibility and they are always egoistic.
so being a man isn't that great after all.

and if you're guy and think that men are better than women and kembang/impressed that i'm praising about men,dun be because i only salute guys with good education up until university or better still with phd.and not just some other guys who wanna act cork.

yeah,did i tell you i love listening to intelligent guys?




don't gave me empty promises.
leave me if you want to if that makes you happy.
i'm perfectly fine on my own.

ahhhh!!!!!malay is not easy!!damn lah.first time i'm experiencing difficulty in malay.bina ayat and explaination was on these words:
-muslihat
-perincian
-termetiara di kalbu
-membetulkan sangsi
-memancap mata
-peluh mendesah dahi

ahaha,i'm screwed.

after exams,i'm gonna study italian.had fun prounouncing the words.


someday,you'll understand.

this unknown girl from my madrasah is pissing me off and i feel like giving her one tight slap on her filthy cheeks.she was talking bout anugerah in english and she was trying to speak english in a slang way.and she said this,"cikko is so cute!" and i murmured this,"oh,fuck you!".maner ader cute?!anyway,fauzi laily's girlfren is the same madrasah as me,same class as my sister.she's very sweet but too bad,she look arrogant and my sister told me that was blabbering bout her boyfren in class.ahaha.

okay,i had fun during madrasah again coz the dorky guys gave me a letter again.so me hid nisa and kinah replied.kinah wrote something in japanese and we said a lot of vulgar offensive words.i was laughing all the way.it turned out that they are being hostile with us so we ended the stupid conversation.pathetic guys.keep pestering me.the worst thing they wanted to do is to take my pic using their hp.siao!!!!i feel totally distracted and uncomfortable.dun they have nth better to do?go fuck and die,seriously.

saturday,went to my aunt's house for tahlil and yeah,we did the scorpion hair again.thanks to ati.she was tying almost everyone's hair.hopefully,we'll go out soon ya.i'm begining to love tahlil coz it gives me a peace of mind.i love you god.

i'm going to cram tonight.after apprentince.looks like i have to sleep late at night.i still dun dare to watch the ghost videoclips.maybe,after exams!finally i got my thumbdrive!