do you ever felt like you had failed?
do you ever felt like a big huge failure to yourself and to everybody else?
the responsibilities that you had carried all along on your shoulders were now become a burden just because you had failed?

i think i did.

i failed in all my responsibilities.
it sucked like shit.i thought i was bigass loser.

But.

I think every success comes after a failure.After that phrase poooped(makeup word) in my mind,i changed my prospective.indeed,i thought success was waiting for me just around the corner.maybe tomorrow,maybe next month,next year or even afterworld.so right now people if you feel like how i felt just remember this okay.

now,i'm feeling 100% optimistic.

i mean,hey new year's coming.put the past away and start afresh.no use feeling meloncholic.really,trust me.life's too short to feel sad.who knows tomorrow you die and the last feeling in your world was depressed?

okay,probably that was why i stopped blogging for awhile.
i think i was too much in denial.

i was in denial everytime.

and now masturah's back!

i'm not always happy okay.
but always 99% happy and 1% depressed/angry but mostly angry.

okay,so tomorrow is hari raya haji.i argued with my mam that i wanted to wear casual for the bbq tmr but she insist me on wearing baju kurung.mam,it is bbq and you expect me to wear baju kurung!haiz,i just hope my cousins are wearing baju kurung so at least i don't look like i'm out of occasion.

so to muslims out there selamat hari raya haji.
and please,do not go to countdown party!respect your religion for once!
so i hoped it rain tmr at night!HAH!but at the same time,i have bbq so just prayed that it rain at vivo city.

will update soon on my new year resolutions!

alright.it's been days.

i'm officially broke and i've left 10 bucks.
went to town yesterday.so you should know.

and i'm officially lazy/reluctant to update.

right now,it's close to 10pm.waiting for survivor.

so today,went to raffles,marina square and bugis.
now,i'm dead beat.
yeah,bought some stuffs.
going shopping next week again.hey,last shopping of the year!

anyway,i really can't wait to go to school!despite it's gonna be very hectic but i like the hectic-ness of school.i just challenges you know.rather than have a plain boring slow steady life.i bought all my school stuffs!kanchiong of course!i know a lot of my friends are missing me.HAHA.don't deny it my friends.

i told you i'm going to watch movie tmr and i'm not expecting another blackout.urggh.my nerves are unresistable you know.

so many plans and resolutions for new year!
new year=new masturah,new future,new life.

you know what!!!



i was watching night at the musuem and halfway,there's a stupid bloody blackout!so,i watched it like halfway!so so so pissed off!i went with my siblings and cousins lah.the movie was at the climax part you know.arrghh.so,we didn't have any refund but but we can watch any other movie at any time if we keep the movie tickets lah.so,watching it on saturday around 11 i guess.never in my life i watch a movie halfway.



so,went home kinda pissed off and something else happened.no,i won't tell you okay.

anyway,yesterday i went out with my family from 8am to 8pm.in the morning,went to changi airport to say goodbye to my two aunts who are going to mecca to perform their haj.so,when i hugged my two aunts i told them to pray for me to pass my o level exams.it was kinda sad.but still,i have to work hard to achive my dreams.so few days left to school!woohoo!

after that,my family went to have lunch at bugis.went to the adidas shop and i can't find the bottle that i want!it's tranparent,with pink and grey colour!i bloody want that bottle.my mam shopped at seiyu.she's now having a new obsession for silver jewels.



meet my father after his work and went to bugis street to buy my school bag.i got this boyish bag which i love!

aisyah is afraid of my artificial eyes.haha!

toy shop.

alright.i think i'm going out tmr with jana.some sale going on and i just got some money from my father!so why not spend on shopping!

watching Night At The Musuem at lot 1 at 3.15 which means should be about bout an hour or so later.

i'll update about everything when i comes bach.insyallah.

went to vivo with fatin diyana!long time no see her.okay,crap.
anyway,rainy days made me feel cuddly.whatever it is.


girl,you got that rings!this is at forever 21.consider cheap cause it costs 11 bucks but it looks real.i want that for my wedding ring okay!HAHA!

okay,that's us.hoho,friends since primary 1!


okay,bye!

Enjoy the breeze

Drink a cuppa

And watch a movie.

An ideal way to spend on a rainy day.

A stupid blurred picture but i upload it anyway.

dear hair,can you grow any longer in a short period of time?you will get this kind of expression when you had spent the rest of your holidays ogling at the tv or computer.ain't pretty.

Forlorn.
Dullness.
Unjust.
Wounded.
Resentment.
Undesirable.

anyway,good luck to the n level candidates!yes,including you you.especially to jana.good luck ya guys.if anybody need advices about anything,i'll be glad to help.

ps:should we be friends?

it's been 6 days i haven't eat a single rice.
no,i'm not starving.

okay,i'm watching my favourite drama.

see ya.

today,the story is pretty simple.
went out to marina square with my chickadee.
found out that mango is having sale.hurray!i bought a top and i still wanna buy one more.
so,we ate at kfc and window shopped some more.
went home pretty early cause there's nothing else to do.gosh,singapore becoming a boring place.maybe i should go clubbing!HAHA!THAT IS BLOODY LAST THING IN MY MIND.though,i love to dance.what,you think i can't dance!you should see me shaking my booty.you would be impress!okay,nonsense sey!

swimming tmr.just keep swimming,just keep swimming.

if you watch finding nemo you should understand.

okay,next movie is either night at museum or dreamgirls.watching movies is so much fun right!so if guys wanna ask me for a date,just bring me to the movies man!no fuss!just treat me nachos will do it.

okay,will be scavenging for food.if you are nice,send food to my house!

i just watched this really fantastic movie at bugis with my sister.
it was damn awesome!really!if you're thinking of what to catch,i recommend you this.and and,there will be erogon 2 for sure.okay,i think i will buy the book.the guy here is really gorgeous man.i think is the best movie in 2006 apart from pirates of course.

anyway,my mam dad and brothers are not at home for three days.they went to melaka with my aunt and cousin.actually,it's me who should be going but i kinda rejected it cause i think my mam deserved a holiday.so,three ladies left in the house for three days!kinda rejoicing my new freedom but the house is tad too quiet.not very use to it.and lucky,i only have friday to wake up to an empty house.you know my sisters are in school.i have to make my own breakfast and eating outside for dinner and lunch.kinda not anticipating to it cause mam's cooking is better.

yeah,insyaallah going out tmr.i need to find a new top!

okay.my dinner for today is.......
tom yam mee cup!great!

SUNDAY-CRONY BEACH OUTING.

alright.my neighbours went to east coast beach for a gathering.it was wow!we're out from our house at 8 in the morning till 9.30 in the evening.i swam from 10.30 am till 2.45pm.right now,i looked like a thai girl.hoho!

and while swimming,the girls decided to play with buoys.it was a huge buoys.i think it was seven girls sitting on three buoys.so,we're unbalanced and fell on off from the buoys.the most scariest thing was that,i was on the bottom of the water,three girls on top of me and i was struggling for air.scary shit.i my chest was in pain.i guess too much water in my lungs.then,we stopped playing it again.ahah!

our place.

our food and drinks

sarah.

the aftermath of swimming for how-many-hours.

makciks.

adik sha and that's supposed to be sufi.

shafiqah and rashi.

neighbours rocks!

caught the sunset.it was beautiful!

no edits.

alrightey!

okay.just got back from vivo city with family.

and,it's been so long that i have a proper conversation in msn.i mean,i don't like msn-ing with anyone unless they are very very conversational or funny or has some interesting stories.

and time check,11.30pm.i rarely online at night.rarely.

so,vivo was goddamn packed.especially the guess shop cause they have sale.damn it,if i'm working i'll definitely buy that guess purse!

i was looking for jeans everywhere.gap was bloody expensive.as well as pull and bear.espirit was over my budget.and finally,i found one at U2 Habourfront which cause me 48 bucks.

so shopped and shopped.bought three storybooks.3 for 10 bucks!went to BIG and my family was really interested in buying the lcd tv but must wait for my father's bonus.december is so good.bonuses and sales!

okaylah.i'll update again tmr!

BEACH!

i'm longing to go on a holiday man.actually,my neighbours and my family planning to go to cherating around 18th dec but due to some reasons like shidah had to take her n level result on that day,we had to cancel it.aww,man.my dad isn't travel kind of person and i'm totally opposite him cause i love love to travel.and surprisingly jana and me had the same interest and i really hope we could go travel together someday.

just did some thinking and you know what?the most fake person in the world is people who are the most nicest person to you.probably.

if your friend is so nice to you and you have been friends with her for so long and yet you have not discover her black personality,then i guess she is fake.don't you think so?cause people has a black and white personality in them no matter what.

these fake people are just trying to please everyone and wanted to be diamond in people's eyes.gosh,i never fanthom why hypocrites do exist.
so watch out for your friends.just a word of caution.

anyway,hitting the beach on sunday with the neighbours!so,i'll update on that on sunday.see ya!

Tuesday December 5th.

met the girls plus zul at orchard.actually aisyah and fizza don't know that i was coming and they don't have a clue that we're celebrating their very-the-belated birthday.since it was raining and we can't proceed to our venue,we celebrated at mcafe.ahaha.aisyah was surprised at my special appearance.

sang their birthday song.

handed them the beautiful presents.i so love it!

i thought zul looked so gay with that smile and mas with her kaki terkangkang.

alright.

this is mas trying to act cute.gosh,i don't understand what she's trying to do.

actually,my school having eoy concert at victoria concert hall and i'm not following them but due to aisyah's persistance ,i managed to get hold of the tickets.very last minute.

exclusive.jana's lobang hidung.haha

so our usher dan or what he preferred to be called bouncer,performing!

no comment.

choir is one of my favourite performances.

this guy too.very talented.and i love love guys who play piano since i'm very untalented in music but i prefer guys than girls playing it.the first time i saw trishardy playing it,i was amazed

during interval.

jana supermodel sey.haha.

i particularly love this one.

some of my chinese friends.wei xiang!you should have hide your face!

okay nice.

okay very wild and unintentional.that my guides!

eople's favourite!and i love this picture.tgk siape ambik.ehem.

did you ever see a band dance?well my school band does!and i love the music piece of pirates of carribean.they playing my favourite movie soundtrack!it was awesome.then we asked the band for and encore.they played and their performance was punctured by standing ovation from me fizza and the guys.woohoo!

okay the end.sorry i had to end it with something might make you puke.ahah!

okay,first of all

HAPPY BELATED BIRHTDAY TO FATIN DIYANA!

sorry,it's kinda late but hey girl, i miss you babe!we should go out someday right?tell me,when is the last time we meet?

anyway,going of the bugis alone about in an hour.

anyhow,don't you guys just love lord of the ring?

eh,no?you don't care about lotr?
you must be shitting me.

no,i didn't go out yesterday cause i have another swollen and sore eye on the left eye.

and today,i wanted to go out but sisters are unavailable and jana's off to msia.i wanted to ask my cousins out but being handphoneless is quite a problem.well,i'll buy mid next year.

actually,i have a blog design in my mind but i need someone to do it for me.hahah,for three years blogging,i have yet learn blog-designing.just not interested in that field.so,fizza i heard you're not free?!

and since i'm okay,i'll definitely go out on monday.i dont care if i have to wear shades to the library.i'm out of books.guess what i've been reading?my brother's roald dahl books.actually,it's pretty incredible.young kids have a lot of imagination and that book just suit it all.i'm reading George's Marvellous Medicine.this is call desparate man but nevermind.

and this is Roald Dahl's motto;
my candle burns at both ends
it will not last the night
but ah my foes and oh my friends
it gives a lovely light.

d you guys understand?well,i don't.been trying to interpret this what you call,poetry.somewhat huh but it's kinda cool.

and oh,december is here.