Wednesday, July 30, 2008

what i want now is to spend the whole entire day with the significant other.doing what we always do.dine,sit and talk about many stufffs,sharing music,be amazed by the wise things that you say,gazing at you,breathing the night's air,absorbing the ambience around us,appreciating each other's presence and lastly be contented cause we have each other.

no,i want to do it for three days a week.

reality will still remain the same.we aint got three days.

HAH.feeling so blah.

anyway,i'll believe that everything happens for the reason.the reason that i already know.so if this is good for me,good for my faith and iman,spiritually good for me,then i can accept it.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

from sis muna's blog(hope you don't mind)-

You know,non muslim don't really understand the importance of covering up and when i said your body is sacred,they don't get it.this (refer to the post)is the best comparison.


If memory serves me correctly, I was wearing a little white tank top and a short black skirt.

I had been raised Orthodox Muslim, so I had never before worn such revealing clothing while in my father’s presence.

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite.

As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us.

We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day.

My father took a good look at us.

Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget.

He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.

Where do you find diamonds?

Deep down in the ground covered and protected.

Where do you find pearls?

Deep down at the bottom of the ocean covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.

Where do you find gold?

Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock.

You’ve got to work hard to get to them.”

He looked at me with serious eyes.

“Your body is sacred.

You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”
(Source: “More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali’s Life Lessons Through His Daughter’s Eyes.”)

Monday, July 28, 2008

this week-

3 presentation;tuesday wednesday and thursday.
more time spend on workshops=my asthma is definitely coming back.we choked on wood dusts.
intech dossier and cd journal.
saturday,going back to cckss,get to see my classmates!!!!

anyway,holidays are in about 2 to 3 weeks time,so i need to find a job.and office job pleasseee!
anyone,i'm damn good in admin.haha.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Saturday-

Watched dark knight yesterday.seriously,don't watch any movies on saturday unless you booked the tixs the day before.cause all the good seats are taken.anyway,i couldn't fully understand the whole movie but i love the joker.incredible,i tell you.

after that,met his friends at kampung melayu.they were watching kuda kepang performance.i thought it was an amatuer kinda of kuda kepang but it was real.the girls(yes,teenage girls)was possessed,ate glass and got themselves whipped by their teachers,whoever they are.i was shocked and disturbed.quite disturbed that i actually stopped watching the whole thing.it was quite an eye opening and i can't fanthom the ridicule of what they were doing.i mean,if i'm the parents of the girls,i wouldn't allow them to eat glass and allow some adults whip them so hard,like that.no freaking way.astagfirruallah.

anyway,halaqah class is today :) and he's going to book in. :(

anyway again,last saturday pictures.




man wanted to take this,not me.
nad's sister and mam.


work it girl!
i can bet you,i am better looking than "her".geddit?
alright,now that the big project has just launched and we got 2 weeks to do it,i am feeling quite confused on where to start.the start of no-life will commenced tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

okay,a proper update.

how am i doing?(well,if you don't give a damn,then is your problem)i am doing good.school is okay,i guess.our big project will launch this friday and i'm quite anxious about it.i can't believe that 5 weeks have passed.it felt fast.i can't believe too,that in two weeks time,(if i'm not wrong),i will be completing my semester 1.term 2 makes me contemplate more about things,about my future education.i have so many doubts,so many questions.i think i've decided what to do.on my way back,i thought about lots of things.my consequences of my actions and decisions.i think i've decided what to do.this is the biggest decision i've ever make.i can't tell it here cause of some reasons.only my friends would know.i hope everything would go my way but i would not have high hopes for it.well,whatever it is,i don't have to worry too much till next year?i have not had a proper consult.i have not seek advice from the wiser people.i know things will change once i start consulting.

on a brighter side, i love my friends.thanks girls,guys for listening.school would be a bore without you people.well,what i want now,is to get through the audition!so results awaits...haha!will tell you readers once i know the result.

and yeah,on a brighter side too,He is booking out this weekend.gosh,i dislike guys that are botak.damn,i have to put up with him.hahah!i know i'm bad!i can even say like,"yeay,new guys to look at!" when kelly told us that gems class will consist of people from different courses. anyway, 2 weeks of not being able to see each other and not being able to have a proper conversation sucks but i got through only after one week.it really makes me realise a lot of things and i have sudden and unnecessary doubts.what a test!seriously,i see myself not having a long distance relationship.ah huh.so girls,don't date ns guys please?unless you're stuck with him before he goes ns.

and oh yeah,family is doing good.i'm glad that we get to attend classes together every friday night at sultan mosque.now the topic is really good and i wish he was there to listen.so catch me at arab street.and,i miss my cousins!haha,hope to see them on national day.

and on yet another brighter side,halaqah class will resume this sunday!yeay!gosh,i have done a lot of sins and i do forget my purpose to live.do i really need halaqah class to be reminded?i think yes,as for now.i can't do this alone,i think.i miss those sisters.

alright people.there will be no lengthy updates till holidays!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

autocad is killing me.
give me more reason to...

can't wait for this SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and sunday too!!!

weekends pack,i need to chiong and do all my assignments,especially autocad.arrghhhh..

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Saturday-

Went to fort canning to see nad modelled for this wedding gallery.it was draggy.like as if i care about wedding stuffs.haha,thank god there's free food and leha and man to company.after that, lepak with nad zul and arip.yeah,that's how i spent the day.no mood to eleborate.




nad's eyes looked scary.
next thing i shall get(if i ever have enough money)is mac lipgloss.
school tomorrow.haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..............
i need a sign too ruifen!!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

audition was errr..okay,i guess?
actually,i had no problem with singing and acting.it was fun actually,a new experience for me.
but dancing was embarassing with a capital E.it was more embarassing than singing in front of hyrul anuar!i mean,i had to do zapin and freestyle!hahaha,imagine me doing zapin.hancur!
alright,that's two major embarassment in one week!remember,tapping the wrong person?yeah.

anyway,i'm going out later,at 12pm!haha,so freaking early but well,i gotta support nadiah and maybe after that,i wanna go crazy with man and leha or zul if he's there.i just need to destress myself and act as if i have no boyfriend.wait,i don't have one do i?

alright,be back!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

i'm feeling so much better!

my audition is less than 30 mins time
sing dance and act.
amacam?

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

yesterday was officially the bad(i shall not call it worst)day.

i had a breakdown yesterday during class.

masturah never ever break down during class or matter of fact,in front of people.i hate to show my weaknesses,remember?i had been keeping it all inside and he(my lecturer) was the triggering factor.he just hit that spot and i'm all rivers and rainfalls.i hadn't been feeling extra bubbly,extra enthusiastic,extra happy ever since monday.i don't know what's wrong.i have been thinking a lot and i'm getting use to his absence.this is not easy but i'm trying.

and today,i thought it would be better.i was already late for class.when i reached yew tee mrt,i remembered that i didn't bring my tessies along so i went back home and my brother wasn't being helpful at all.(is like a 5 min walk back to home)i was fasting by the way.i wanted to cry but i snapped myself.i need to be better.i need to feel better.

alright mas,tomorrow will be better and if another adversity falls upon you then just tell yourself that there's a barakah in every adversity.i need to get close to Allah.27th,please come quick!

10 more days mas,just be patient.10 more days till i pour my heart content to him.
ns spoiler,ns spoiler,ns spoiler.

ps/: i know this post sounds like i'm some kind of whiny crybaby.i'm not most of the time.it sucked to feel this way.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

arrghh!tuesday is so hectic!
and i'm missing him :(

Sunday, July 13, 2008

SSP Sentosa Outing-

Anway,had fun with the lions yesterday.have not been hanging out/seeing them in school so i thought,i should go for the sentosa outing.i also don't wanna stay at home and think bout how pathetic my saturdays will be till he book out.

didnt take a lot of pictures.i wished to stay with them a bit later but shucks,i need to get home. i hope there's next time!by the way,ssp having their auditions next week.some of them asked me to go for it but i am tiny bit unsure cause i seriously lack of talent but i deep down,i wanted to just try out but don't wanna embarassed myself.hai,so many buts.we'll see how okay.

playing the free batman toy.ape jer,pergi beach bawa coco crunch.haha!seriously,that will be the last thing on my mind in the list of what-food-to-bring.

you know what?din was actually having leg cramps but the guys being guys,they took the matter,not seriously.they buried him in the sand and said that the sand will cure the cramps etc.hahaha!it was hilarious.
i love the sunsets here.
shira fiza saf.
and oh, we took a lot of this kind of pictures.

guys playing volleyball.all step beachunks lah.
ab?i think that is his name.senior lion.


haha.fugly!i mean me.

on the way back.




aww,this is for you.
back to school.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Currently doing on my research.

do you know that the afghan women are banned from educating themselves?
i am sad at the fact that, there are girls like me who want to study as much but they are not allowed to do so.

it makes me feel like i have so many things in this world and i am not appreciating it enough.worst,i am thinking of quitting.this makes me contemplate even more.i feel like i'm in a whirlwind of emotions and contemplations.there are so many things to contemplate about.

anyway,i am feeling okay.he's doing fine in ns and he gives me a call every night.that makes me feel okay.i just have to wait for 26th then.

anyhow,went to library on friday with the girls.it was the first time i explored the library.hahah,definitely coming back to borrow some dvds during the weekends.but so much for my weekends cause i have like 3 tessallations(go google if you wanna know what i'm doing), OC research and speech draft,perspective drawing and i'm almost done with the photoshop assignment.

but i'm gonna put all of these on hold and enjoy myself in sentosa!
and be back, kanchiong spider!burn midnight oil,i will.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

4AM Forever-

Today,i feel so blah.I don't know.I'm beginning to hate design studio.i have so so many things to do which i don't feel like doing.And primarily.He is in NS already.serving for the damn country.
the fact that i'll not see him for the next 2/3 weeks is making me feel err uneasy?but mas,you gotta pick yourself up cause is only for 2/3 weeks,come on.Seriously,i feel so blah.I felt like crying when i listened to Bellaluna in the train.I've not cry for so long.i dislike weaknesses.
Maybe i'll later when i'm going to bed.

Anyway, yesterday was my belated brother birthday.Happy Birthday Saufie.i felt bad at the fact that i didn't get the chance to wish him on his birthday.i didn't get to go to his party(manifested with kids and makciks.haha)and cut the cake with him.
alrightey.see you when i feel better.

i'll never forget yesterday.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Sunday Night-The Unexpected Reveal

Sunday was AWESOME.so here's the story..

i went to watch hancock with him at the cathay.after the movie,i went to the washroom and saw zul!i was so excited cause i know, zul and gang went out too but i couldn't make it.when i saw zul,i know i would see man,leha and nadiah.i havent seen nad and man for so long.so long story short,we joined them.

the whole night,i was laughing throughout.zul mcm siak but nevermind,i'm cool.their incessant teasing was good and bad for me.biase jugak,their target is either me or nad.hahaha.headed to mosi cafe where i bumped into a bunch of SSP senior lions and current lions.haha,when i stepped in,faiz was like,mayaaaa and jef sang that fatimah song.rasa famous sekejap.sekejap jer eh.i realised i'm neither maya nor karin.zul made it so,irritatingly clear to me.maya karin punyer bulu kaki..whatever zul.


the very hilariously irritating zul.mcm mane fizza boleh tahan.

pergi starbuck,camwhored.ape jer.

ah huh......

nad,tangan tak penting.hah.

i like this pic but i shall photoshop around my abdomen area.hah.


yeah,lala met us later after that!gosh,havent seen her in ages!lala,don't go disappearing again,pretty please.


mosi cafe.

i don't know what's so funny.too many jokes,i can't recalled.


yeay!that night was so so good.i havent hang out with my friends for so long and is good to be back with the people you're comfortable with.they just know you and you can just let everything out without thinking twice.i'm happy that he got to know my friends.
sunday didn't leave me confused.i did get to spend time with my cousins,friends and him.
i love you guys,each one of you!xoxo.especially You.
2 more days..

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Listen- Dashboard Confessional

It's saturday night/sunday morning.No,i didn't have plans today.the beach outing was postponed next week.thank god.anyway,i was a bit frantic when i know that i have nothing to do on a saturday.it irked me a lot so asked my friends(almost everyone i'm close with)out. the fact sinked into my head the minute i know that i am just gonna stay at home on a saturday,watching lord of the rings.Anyway,i did went out for a short while.looking back,spending a saturday at home wasn't that bad.if there's good movies.i think i deserve to rest at home,cause i've been going out a lot,like everyday without fail.is time for masturah to have her time of her own.well,i could do that after,after..

Anyhow,last night was spent with Leha!haha,our normal meet up sessions will be shop-talk-eat-talk.i bought some stuffs!i'm a satisfied woman.but dang,i wished i had more money cause i wanted a bag and another shoe(hint hint,siape entah aku hint kat).we then had ayam penyet and happy soda which really made us happy.gosh,that drink is so irresistable!say thanks to your sis Leha for treating me!thanks for the day,xoxo.

Tomorrow.Family.Him.Friends.Which one?All three clashed in one day=confused mas.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

the fact is i'm not ready.i don't think i can go through this but i believe that eventually,i will.no matter what.i just hope that at the end,i'll be able to see that i'm strong enough to face yet another situation like that.this is hard but there's nothing i can do.

in the meantime,i would like to munasabah.i feel so far.
i read melati's blog.am jealous.if only time permits,i would go.
but it seemed i have work to do everyday after school,not that i'm complaining.
i miss the halaqah sisters.


tmr meeting leha.yeay!i'm out for the whole three days.so,must chiong and finish all my homework before weekends.and that include photoshop.gotta go.i have photoshop-ping to do.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


friday skirt day.the next time you'll be seeing me in skirt will be pretty soon okay.(not referring to the readers.hah.)

tuesday was crazy.it has always been.today,had presentation but i wore formal for nothing.dang.gotta wear formal again next week.

okay,people said i don't looked that formal but heck,i wouldn't wear a heels and some office blouse to school.

the class was awesome.japanese style.




alright,i'm done.


9 more days.......and back to usual self?literally.