here i am on a thursday night.i think for the next three days,my time will get wasted.oh God please please give me some ideas and inspirations for my new project.

anyway this week and last week,our topic among my cliques was religion.thanks to TOD and cosmology.made me realised certain things.I honestly don't think that my hijab is a barrier for me to do whatever i want.I can do absolutely anything(yes ryan even swimming).there is always a way.by the way if hijab wearers know that swimming will have to make them expose then they wouldn't even do it and they won't lose out in anything.like as if normal people would even go swimming.

and also i don't need to worry about guys staring at my boobs,looking at how ehem, voluptuous,ehem,i can be.(ps i didn't say i am voluptuous,read properly!)

anyway for TOD,i don't think is good to question a lot.what's the point?you might not find the answer anyway.who are you what you are blah blah.but thank Allah because as a Muslim we know our purpose of life,we know who we are,what we have to do,why we are here. Even though our whole purpose of life is to worship Him,at least we have a purpose than someone who is struggling to find their purposes of life.i already found mine which is why i am here.

first,new project is given and i don't know what to do so in the meantime can i slack for a little while?

second,my left eye is hurting me.i am so afraid i get eye infection because of contact lens.
*prays hard*

third,is it better to be needed or not to be needed?

i think you will never understand what i want.
but maybe it doesn't matter cause you gave me what i need.

i missed habib's umar lecture and i felt nothing.hmmm..it's time for halaqah i guess?but i'm afraid i can't make it this friday.

school is okay.i hate the fact that i am always content with that i am doing because that always gives me a C instead of B.

it's the weekend(now friday 450pm) and i am gonna start my assignment soon.hah,pathetic.

and i learned one thing.don't give a shit to people when they don't give a shit to you.

i miss K.

first day of school,been told about our assignment and the submission date which is tomorrow.sometimes i don't know how i and the rest can actually go through this painful course.

anyway Gems yesterday was alright.guess what i took up? GENES AND YOU.hahahah!!!reliving those biology lessons back during secondary school.and impressingly i remember the function of nuclues.hahaha.that's all i know.but i don't know why i took genes and you.i was sleeping when mr leong taught us that chapter.okay maybe because kat hammie rf and ryan are in the same gems as me.

weekend coming!i need to rush my assignments so only i can go for Habib Umar's lectures,
insyaAllah.

tonight is one of the nights when i feel so thankful.

school tomorrow,8 to 6.hold on tight girls,we gotta loonnngg ride.

and is been a long time since i say this,

xoxo M.

Last Saturday-










the most funniest incident goes to janna.baik per jana.hahaha.alright girls see you soon.we lepak at lot 1 rooftop okay soon okay?

i am so happy.really happy.at last.

Certainty is power,firmness and stability of faith so great that it becomes as a towering mountain which no doubts can shake and no illusions rock.Rather,doubts and illusions disappear completely,and when they come from the outside are neither listened to by the ear nor heeded by the heart.The Devil cannot approach the possessor of such certainty;he fleas from him,fears his very shadow and is content to keep at a safe distance.- the book of assistance by imam al-haddad

everytime when i think something's wrong,when my heart is not at peace,i will go back to the chapter of that book.if something really great happened to you,will you ever blame your God?will you be mad at Him?i think this is when the certainty comes.No i will not blame God or anyone not even myself.i will be certain that whatever happens,there is a hikmah and Allah knows best.Quoted from the book, "certainty is the whole of faith".it sounds easy right?

anyway,today got to know of someone's death.not close to me but he is of my age,i think.so young but Allah takes him away.i am and was scared.if only i have lived my life with the constant reminder of death,i will not be wasting my time or sprawling over something that is not worth the time.but sadly i don't.

IT'S MONDAAAAYYYYY!!!AAAAAA!!

3 more days baby!!!

this is how i feel now.tranquil.i am feeling peaceful, like whatever burden and worries i have is lifted.i feel grateful.blessed that i have God,Rasullulah,my family,khidhir and friends.i feel overwhelmed by yesterday's qiyam with the girls and women.jazakallah khairan to the one of the treasured person i have known Kak Muna.I love you.Thank you for guiding us.Thank you Allah.

Saturday Night-

saturday was awesome eventhough we met like for few hours.aww,it feels like i don't get enough time to catch up that night.but i am grateful to be able to meet you girls.we're still the same person as we were in secondary school.insyaAllah we'll meet in three months time or earlier,cause lala wants to find a dress for her sister's wedding!


seriously,the talk over dinner was fulfilling and hilarious.

after this picture,we dropped the shisha.okay leha dropped it and the charcoal was on the floor.hahaha.embarassing!

on our way back, camwhore frenzy began..since we don't have time to stop and take pictures cause it was already 1115, we walked and snapped.hahah.so my face was always the biggest one cause obviously i was holding the camera.

alright girls,shall see you soon.since school's gonna start,study smart and lala..all the best in working life.the salary is not the most important but earning in a halal way is the most okay.take care of yourself and remember Allah when you feel down sad angry disappointed.call me when you need anything.i love you.

okay i'm wrong.peeople said there's school on thursday.i checked the timetable but nothing appeared on thursday so i thought there's no school.hahaha..mas dream on lah.

okay i'm done.

and i miss you like craaaazzzzzzyyy.

timetable's out.no school on thursday,wed and friday end at 12.wow,pretty slack but oh well,our free time will end up to doing projects.

alright,saturday was great.pictures later aight.

looking forward for qiyam this thursday night!

10 more days to hear you.11 more days to see you.

today insyaAllah will be meeting some close friends of mine.no matter how forward i have moved,how many friends i made,how much i have learned and experienced,how much memories i have created after secondary school,the moments and memories i had in secondary school will never be erased.i think everyone will agree with me that secondary school life is the one of the best stages of life.

girl guides!

here i am blogging.it's 1130 now and i am going to sleep in about half an hour.my intention is to get up early tomorrow morning(okay early as in 830?)to jog.on the day khidhir left ubin,i went to jog.it was good,refreshing.it has been two days and i miss him already.shit,we gotta learn the hard way.no wait,i gotta learn the hard way.absence intensifies love.i am trying hard to put him at the back of my head.i kept praying,"God,don't make me think of him so much.Let me think of You and Rasullulah".my mam,my sisters and khidhir himself think i exaggerated.hahaha.mas mas mas..you are quite pathetic.okay i will shut up.put this all aside and turn on the Single Ladies song!!(trying hard to be optimistic)all the single ladies!okay whatever i am digressing.i will not talk about my heart,emotional affairs.people must be thinking i am pathetic plus i looked like i can't live without a guy.( but khidhir is just not any guy)

alright next paragraph please.

2 more weeks to school baby!!!!!!!i miss school so so so much despite the avalanche of projects/assignments.one thing i have in mind when i get back to school is to go beyond my boundaries.i can't just be safe all the time and i need to do more in order to get good grades too.i want to continue study so that i can finally take up on something that i really love.i like design but i am doubting my capabilities.i am not creative enough and i wished i could just break out from this mould of uncreativity.


to end off.The Hikam by Ibn Ata'illah
A gift from man is deprivation [al-hirman], and deprivation [al-man‘] from Allah is beneficence [al-ihsan].

time check: almost 12,will be sleeping soon.goodnight people.