i was talking to K the other day about how i find myself changing. when i was in secondary school, i was a sociable person.i will go around to the people i know and make conversations with them and just plainly being friendly. i was a friendly person back then, i still am. i loved socialising and talking to each different person. however, as i found my way to poly, i find myself not socialising, not being friendly enough(like how i used to)and not mixing with the others. i realised that i am no longer feel interested to know other people and i do not want to make conversation with people,pretending i like and am interested to get to know them. so i only go to the few that i really like and they like me too and we'll have conversations. i am becoming more appreciative with the people that are closer to me and they are enough. it is not that i am being arrogant or unfriendly, but i do not want to pretend that i like them.my feelings for others that i do not know are neutral.i realised, the more people you know, the more you gossip about people. i told K that i do not know if it is me or just the people there. K said it is me and he added "welcome to the adult world". maybe he's right. i do not know why i am acting like this. the people that i know in my course, they are generally okay, i have no problems with them and i do not dislike any of them. i do have friends that i genuinely like to get closer with, outside of my clique. i do, okay.but it's just a few.so if you DID people read my blog and you're not happen to be in my clique, it doesnt mean that i will no longer talk to you and please dont shun yourself away from me. i think it takes sincerity and time to get to know each other. if we happen to be friends for a lifetime, why not?